My Apprehension

EDIT: Whoops the grammar isn't at it's best in this one. Just re-read it and had to show that I recognize that. 

well, isn't that a big word!

Today I figured out why I'm so stressed about getting into Mass Art. Because if I don't, it would be really embarrassing. I have told everyone that I want to go there, if I don't get into that school everyone will know and try to comfort me and it will only rub it in. I just have that feeling that I'm going to get the worst and it will somehow be ironic. Just because it's my life. I know that that is completely stupid. I bet you juniors will completely understand in one year from now. Or not this may just be me.

Today I got a letter from them, just saying that they received my app/portfolio and they'll need to review it.
But when I first saw the letter I like had a heart attack and wanted to run away and dig a hole into the ground big enough to curl in and bury myself. I couldn't even open it at first, but then I realized that I just sent them my stuff like 2 days ago and they're probably just telling me they got it.

I hate this anxiety!

Thank God for Buddha. And by Buddha I mean something else.

I can't take this!!!   I just want this feeling of pressure and fear to stop so bad it's driving me crazy.

I laughed a lot today. It was such a good day. I'm bummed that Joey had to switch out of my sculpture class though.  Every morning for the next 2 weeks I have to read the morning pledge and stuff, and if you haven't noticed, I cannot pronounce the word February. Haha I guess it's pretty funny. I'm glad, I think it gives the school a classic charm to have a kid on the morning announcements mispronounce February in a rushed/tired voice every day for 2 weeks. If I wasn't myself and sitting in a classroom, I think I'd enjoy it.

that movie I just saw an ad for, the Crazies, looks a little terrifying. The clip of a creepy looking guy walking across a baseball field really creeped me out.

thats all for now. Later all