Tuesday, May 19.

Today I failed my driving test. Then I came home depressed, and lay in my bed for about 10 minutes. 

The book Lolita peered out at me from beneath various junk. I had borrowed Lolita from a friend some time back, and forgot about it completely. I read Lolita for about 5 hours and just came downstairs to get the laundry. The way the author wrote the book is fantastic. The style is very poetic and soothing. My sentences are very short and to the point and I'm not sure why.

A small spider was on my ceiling yesterday, and it's been wandering around the white stucco surface for at least a day now. I've watched it all day, and it has a distinct pattern: Remain motionless for about thirty minutes, then power scuttle in a random straight line for five seconds, then repeat. 

I didn't go to school today, and I really don't want to go ever again. Whenever I stay home from school (which is rare), I realize how much I don't like it. But then again I'd rather be going to school then staying at my house all day, like my poor dogs.

If dogs could figure out a way, I'm sure they'd kill themselves. Being forced to stay in the same building everyday with occasional fun, but no freedom. Eating the same dry pebbles and watching your real home existing just out window.

I go to school everyday, and listen to people talk about things that sort of matter. Sigh I'm feeling very melancholy. This morning I could only stand being out of bed for about one minute. I just needed five more minutes of warmth and ended up sleeping until 7:10. My bus comes at 6:50. It didn't really matter though, and I think my dad could tell that I didn't care and was ok with me staying home and sleeping. I think if my life was less easy I'd be a happier person. I'm so bored with this.

Today's song is Undone by Imperial Teen. It's playing right now. Or Real Life by Evermore.