I'm on my meds and I feel fantastic. Holy shit. I'm finishing my second piece of the night! It's a charcoal self portrait. I think they're both good, but I've had times when I liked a piece the night it was done, but hated it in class. I'm going to try taking meds before school again. Maybe. Or have like, Saturday all nighters and just take them at 8PM and do art. It's a solid plan.
Spring is here. I saw a spider in my house. It disappeared under the office couch. The office will go unused by me and my sister for a few days.
That kind of rhymed?
Oh. I just realized I'm blogging on 4:11AM and just typing random thoughts. Sitting in the same position while drawing was getting uncomfortable so I'm taking a break and blogging.
I think taking meds at night is perfect. I have zero distractions and can focus in my room. I'm excited for saturday night all nighters! It's such a good plan!!! ...even though tonight is sunday. well technically it's monday, but it feels like sunday, at least until the sun comes up.
Ok I want to get back to the portrait. Bye!
Oh hay guess what. I finally did a load of laundry today! It was all underwear and socks. I got too desperate. Does anyone else get to the point where they smell the clothes for cleanliness before putting them on. ...after picking them up off the floor. I do.
I just realized a weird thing I do. when I'm on meds in my room at night doing art or something productive, I always have the need to do it with as little clothes as possible. It's relaxing to walk around in gym shorts and feel the air on your naked skin. But now I have charcoal on me, and I'll probably track it into the bed. Oh wait no I'm not sleeping haha. I feel so great! For a while I had no passion for art, and it's finally getting back! I love art. I can't wait to do it full time. AH! I am almost done with fucking Wachusett! Hahahaha! Done with high school. Done with the cafeteria, the blank off-white walls, the subjects I have no interest in, the rude teachers, walking around a teeming pit of mean and bitter people!
I can do what I've done tonight... all the time. Bliss. Mmmm I can almost smell it.
Doesn't the word Bliss look and sound like a scent? Like a flower. Bliss. It's such a liquid word. The ssss flows like clear water.
And I have late entry, and a car. I love having a content smile.
Ah! I haven't blogged in so long and now it's all coming back to me.
ok i really need to get back to work. Bah
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