I'm typing it because the laptop is already in front of me, and I'm blogging it just for fun. Here it goes...
(i'm going to keep out obvious stuff like friends and family)
-Blue
-My bedroom
-Dogs
-Nature
-Creativity
hmmm. this list needs a cap, let's say, 10-15 things.
-Genuine smiles
-Body heat
-Swimming
-Smoke
-Colorful lights
-Taking a shower
-Harnessing sadness
-Talking into "the wee hours of the night"
-When music has a transcendental affect
-Doing cliche teenage things
okay I think I'm done.
Hmmm... I'm kind of stumped on this. How can this not look like art? I sure as hell am not doing a collage. But how can I do this without it being a collage?? I love these challenges. I'm tired of paintings, this should be a 3D piece. I need one thing to connect everything, like a branch or wire. Maybe I could do some sort of story on a long canvas. The obvious answer is to have me surrounded by these things, but that's way too Couette style. This should be an abstract piece. First, I'll organize the physical things from the non-physical.
Physical:
-Blue, bedroom, dogs, nature, genuine smiles, smoke, swimming, showers.
Non-physical:
-Creativity, body heat, colorful lights (just because), harnessing sadness, late night talks, music affect, cliche teenage.
Blue should be the foundation. Colorful lights the accent. Creativity can be portrayed by the existence of the piece. My favorite physical part of a dog is it's eyes, so dog's eyes. Body heat? hmm. body heat. Fuck, this cannot become a collage. Idea! A dogs paw, not the eyes. The piece should have an organic feel (nature.) I might have to cut the smile. Paint can make a smoke... blue smoke. No! Combine body heat and smoke. Warm colored smoke. Background pale or dark? Pale, dark is too flattening and condensing. This should have an open atmosphere. Fuck. So much on the list!!! I need to sketch. I'll post the sketches. Break.
wow, i just checked my facebook and it turns out someone I've never met wants to hurt me because he thinks I'm gay. I'm stunned and honestly don't know how to reply. My mind is so scrambled with anger, confusion, sadness, and feelings I can't define. Why THE FUCK is he so threatened by gay people!?!?! I want to know.
Alright I need to calm down and be rational. People like him are clearly losers. Judging by the looks of this person he won't graduate high school, and will have zero power or influence over anyone significant. He probably seriously lacks self esteem. It's terrible that the gay community has to deal with the hatred of those who are angry at life for not working out for them. I'm not even gay and I feel terrible. Someone out there hates me and wants to hurt me, and this isn't the first time I've dealt with this. It's not something that can just be brushed aside, it hurts. Fucking high school.
I hope this doesn't distract me.
Ideas:
-blanket represents many things. It's falling gracefully, like it's in water. Smoke emits from underneath. Wires with faint lights are wound tightly around something (dunno.)
-A lump under a blanket. It's glowing from underneath.
Something with a blanket. Blankets are beautiful when you throw them in the air, I'll play on that. Oh well, maybe this will be a painting. that's okay. WAIT. NO! I can so do this in 3D! but it's gunna be such a bitch. No. This is one of those ideas that will never actually happen. Must be simplified. I simply don't have the resources to make this a 3D piece that actually looks good. Painting. Ugh, painting is such a commitment. But it should get fun once it picks up. Plus it's an abstract piece! Woo! Okay, this is doable. Cardboard or canvas? ... Oils or Acrylic? Oils on a small canvas, that way I'm not afraid to use enough paint.
okay. bye for now.
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