Cuckoo

Senior Year really is all that it is said to be. Lot's of care free fun.

Life without meds is the same. But being happy has a price. I say things without thinking about the consequences. I've been an hour early to work on accident, then an hour late on accident. I am the least organized NAHS president ever. I am very social, but sometimes miss being quiet and taken seriously.

The only way to get my work done is with medication. I've resorted to crushing portions of a pill and snorting it, which looks worse than it is.

I really miss RISD. Everyday I miss it. Now life at Wachusett makes me feel like an animal stuck in cage. Being at RISD made me feel complete.

I'm on my meds right now (which explains blogging for the first time in months, at 1:37 AM.) The reason why I talk about medication so much is because I sort of have 2 personalities. One is a quiet, awkward, observant, insightful, depressed, and a bored person. The other is loud, funny, social, careless, and outgoing.

Both are lonely. I don't connect with people. It seems like I do but I don't. No one. Except my sister Amy and brother in law Dan. But they live an hour away now and are usually busy with their 3 kids.

I kind of miss being the old jeff. Being crazy all of the time is fun but time goes by so fast. My grades are poor already. I don't like being seen as a wild person anymore.

I want to take my meds and read in my room with my dog all day everyday.

I'm stressed out because I have so much stuff to do and haven't been doing any of it. Like college stuff. Getting my portfolio done especially.

My parents are putting my dog up for adoption. No one is on my side anymore to keep him. The fact that I'll be away next year is the ultimate factor.

There is so much that I want to say but I don't because I know I'll regret it.

The song of this blog is Cuckoo Cuckoo by Animal Collective.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O4V3jTz-Og

The picture is of Olga, and other RISD friends in the hallway by my dorm.